See... D&D has Laywers too! (No... not paladins)

"Why no your honor my client is not a goat rapist, he is a veterinarian, and that goat required certain surgical procedures, which to the untrained might seem blasphemous, but which were absolutely necessary to save that poor animals life."

"My client was acting purely in self defense when she repeatedly clubbed that Paladin. How did she know he was there to save people? He was a screaming, armored maniac covered in blood and fleshy bits."

"Yes your honor my client did burn down that orphanage, but we intend to show it was to save those poor orphans from the attentions of the local Cleric of Pelor. He is...a vile man..."

"Yes your honor my client was found naked, on horseback, sitting backwards, screaming obscenities and throwing filth at passers by while going the wrong way down a crowded street. Yes she was found to be drunk and possibly on every drug known to mankind subsequent to her arrest. And yes she did beat one of the arresting officers to death with a severed head. And we can explain this. It was the fault of THAT MAN OVER THERE!!!"